I had my review/lunch yesterday. We spent very little of it actually talking about that. Mostly, I think, because we have a very good easy rapport with each other and always chat about personal stuff. She said she just wanted to thank me for such good work and she doesn't know what she would do without me. Then she said she wished she could have done more on the salary, but "the guys" (the 2 company owners) put restraints on what she could do and she didn't go into details (I could tell she felt kind of uncomfortable). I just kind of nodded and said well as long as it's not related to my performance....
When we got back we sat in her office for a few minutes. She just quickly went over the written evaluation (all good/exceeds expectations) and then read her comment at the end of it:
O has shown amazing support for me both personally and professionally over the past year. I can't think of a year in my life that has been more difficult. Not only have I relied on her personally but always knew that things were being handled professionally at the office. Her work ethic is beyond approach, she strives to make the best of everything. She has a calming manner that makes everything easier. She is detailed and organized. She is continually looking for processes to make us better. I encourage her to keep thinking outside the box in this regard. This doesn't seem enough but Thank You for all you do every day.
In our short conversation in her office she also made reference to the salary (when showing me the annual printout we get of all our actual compensation, benefits, etc) that is why she tries to do "other" things for me that she can do that, while aren't actual money, are extra for me and nothing the "guys" would notice or know about. Like extra work days at home (she is always emailing me several times a month saying you can work from home today if you want, when it's my normal day to come into the office). I said I really appreciated my job flexibility and telecommuting. Or several times I have tried to use my PTO when I had a day or half day off for something and she wouldn't let me. She'd just pay me regular.
She also just basically gave me a $300 "bonus". On our payroll mid month I screwed up and paid myself an extra 8 hours of vacation. I caught it right when I saw my paycheck that is was higher than it was supposed to be. I sent myself an email to put in my "reminders" to fix it the next payroll and cc'd my boss in the email. I said I'm cc'ing you to let you know I goofed and wasn't trying to pay myself extra money! She emailed back that I was so funny and that's why she loved me. Then, when I gave her the payroll report this week to glance over before I submit for processing she crossed my 8 hour deduction and says don't deduct that 8 hours, I started to argue with her and she said "it's a bonus for being so honest. I would have never known" and I said I shouldn't get a bonus for being stupid!
So, that's where I'm at. I've never been a super strong personality when it comes to asserting
myself. Never ever. I was so shy as a child you could say boo to me and
I'd probably jump 10 feet. I'm not that shy any more, but I'm still
quiet and I can be shy in a group setting where I don't really know
anyone. One on one or two and I can hold my own meeting people and not
being shy. But, asserting myself is still way down there on my skills.
One reason why I have never wanted (well I tried once) to be in a
management position. And I have an even harder time being a butt about it when I know she is being so nice and sincere (she is always telling me how much she appreciates me) and telling me she will give me "perks" in other ways.
I remember several years ago this happening. I think I got no raise and again it was "the guys" (she has to go over her reviews with them first) but then the next time around I got a really good raise (more than I expected and basically made up for the year before)...probably because she was able to say to them that I was now due. That's probably what will end up happening next year. We'll see.
I put the extra monthly money into my 401k now and with the company matching half of it, I also can look at it like a $1500 a year increase in compensation. Plus, it looks very likely we will get our mid year bonus in June.