Sunday, December 6, 2015

Do you think you really know someone?

A friend of ours passed on a link to a news article he came across. The article itself was a couple of months old and about a sting operation done in our area to catch child sex exploitation. Nine men were arrested. At the very end of the article was a list of the men arrested. The very last name was someone we know/knew very well. I just sat there and said "wow".  About a month or so ago we had heard this man died. Then we found out it was suicide. Today we now know why.

Unbelievable. Knowing what we know now, there is really still no hindsight now to say "oh, ya - he was kind of odd" or anything like that. We met him and his family about 15 years ago and were friends for about 5 years. Distance and just general life events had us moving in different directions after that and the friendship dissolved around 2005. But to hear this news was quite a shock.

It just makes me realize even more that we truly never know someone. There were no signs of this absolutely deviant behavior from this man. He was a successful businessman, a family man, etc. I even had to think back - did we ever leave our kids alone with this man?! We didn't - our interactions were all in group/family settings, but I shudder to think of the children's lives who have been affected by this man. I highly doubt that was his first time - he just (thankfully) got caught that last time. It sickens me.

When my kids were growing up it was always in the back of my mind to never leave them alone with anyone - even if I thought I knew them very well. Maybe that's why we never had babysitters, never went out and left our kids to be watched by someone, except on very rare occasions and then it was with one of our parents.

I remember years ago when DH and I were first married, we spent time with a group of mostly couples, dinners/parties, etc. At one party at the home of a couple there was this guy. I think we had met him maybe once before .He gave me the creeps all night. He kept staring at me. I don't think we saw him again after that at any get together's. Some time later there was an arrest made of a man who had been attacking and raping women near our towns hospital. It was him. That one definitely didn't surprise me. My hackles went up the first time I met that guy.

It seems the older I get the less trust I have in my fellow humans - even relatives. We've had our relatives (dh's family) turn on us and literally try to ruin our lives financially (and of course that affected us emotionally, as well). Since DH's best friend died 4 years ago, I am leery of making new friends or getting too close to anyone. I just do not trust people anymore. Sad.

1 comment:

  1. It is really sad. I am very sorry so much of that has happened very close to you. I don't trust easily either - especially with money and my children. Maybe just keeping them at arms length. It gets really lonely as you age without friends. Even at my age, I struggle with loneliness.