I've been a bit quiet on the blog lately. Family turmoil tends to overwhelm my brain and then I can't sit and write. It's nothing super terrible, life will certainly go on and get back to normal. DS broke up with his long time girlfriend. No one saw it coming, least of all her, apparently. But, I can see DS's point - his lifestyle has changed a lot over the past year and long distance relationships don't much make for good ones. While I like his girlfriend, she is quite different from him, as far as money and material things go and it has always worried me that a future marriage would be very stressful for him trying to make sure she has everything she thinks she needs (designer labels, manicures and pedicures, vacations, etc).
DH is the one having a hard time with it, of course. He tends to take everything personal - whether it's DS just giving a short answer in an email (most likely because he's tired of dealing with the other 100 texts and emails from others wanting to know "what happened") or someone's comment on stupid Facebook. You can't convince him he just needs to stay out of it and give DS some space. I can say until I'm blue in the face that this is between DS and GF and let him handle it how he wants to handle it, but DH has to sit and analyze and try to "help". That's what happens, I guess, when you have someone with way too much time on their hands and not a lot to do and think about..
From what I've talked and messaged with DS he is doing fine (as well as can be) and just ready to keep working on his life goals and see where it all takes him. He said GF is being understanding and they are trying to keep it all good and amicable. But, since he's not physically here, DH thinks he has to try to read between the lines over every little thing and it's exhausting for me and DD to deal with. One of the hard parts of living with someone who emotionally has never quite gotten past being 16 years old. He takes after his mother - who thrives on drama. I hate it and so do both of my kids. Amazing that our two kids ended as mature and emotionally well-centered as they are!
It will all eventually pass and everyone will get on with their lives - hopefully sooner, rather than later. I am excited to see what kind of things DS will do with his life now that he can be 100% focused on his goals.
Well, relationships only work when you want to be in them. If he wasn't in it anymore, then he did the right thing.
ReplyDeleteI do understand you on this.. We have some family drama going on in my family with oldest nephew and his "woman" and it's not good and hasn't been for three years.. Then there's my drama with my own husband who seems to have decided he's done do anything in life.. and I"m the same way, I can't sit and write on my blog because I have too many other thoughts swirling in my head. I was doing well last week with my blog, had all these posts going, was thinking of more and then this stuff with husband has just gotten so overwhelming to me that Im stuck again.. As for your son, he's obviously making decisions that he knows are right for him and sometimes in order to move forward we have to leave some things behind including people..
ReplyDeleteI hope your DH gets over it soon - it sounds like your son made a solid, well thought out choice.
ReplyDeleteAgree with the others. Ending a relationship is hard enough without worrying about how your parents will feel about it. I actually stayed in a relationship for way too long because I was ashamed of not being able to make it work, knew how close he was too my parents, etc. It's a lot of unnecessary burden on an already difficult decision.
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